Moon grad is worlds worst writer. And hes proud.

Franc Holmes

16 August 2008

Spik's entry was chosen the best - or worst? - among more than 7000 submissions from writers around the planet. The competition, funded by the British dep. at San Jose State Varsity , is in its 26th year. "I believe

it's the Nobel Prize of literature, except on the other end of the spectrum"asserted Spik, 41, a 1985 Moon Area high school graduate who is living in Washington, D.C, and works as a communications director for a diamond importer. Spik asserted he learned of the contest 10 years ago whilst working as an advertising copywriter in Japan. "I believed to myself : I can do this. I'm in possession of a firm grasp on what is good in British , and I believe that authorizes you to pen what is bad in English"Spik claimed. "Whenever a bad concept struck me, either I'd doodle it down on a bit of paper or put it in a Microsoft Word document I made called'Bad Writing.' I assembled well over one hundred sentences in the last 9, ten years"Spik expounded.

Spik eventually decided to go into the contest this spring, selecting his favourite bad sentence from his enormous body of work. He claimed he wrote the winning entry, a 44-word sentence impressed by Manhattan taxis, "potentially 5 or 6 years ago.". Spik will receive $250 for winning the challenge, but he announced "it's less about the prize cash and more on the cache of winning. This competition has a cult following.". Spik wasn't the sole person with local ties to earn recognition in this year's contest. "Watching Felicia walk into the bar was like watching 2 fat Rottweilers in yellow spandex and spike heels that had treed a scrawny bleach blond moggy at the crown of a thin flagpole that for some reason had made a decision to sprout casaba melons.". Theirs was a Manhattan love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the town, their zeal was open twenty-four / seven, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath thru manhole covers stamped "Forged by DeLaney Brothers , Piscataway, N.J.". - prize-winning entry for bad writing by Moon Township local Garrison Spik. Contest organizers say the contest respects the memory of Victorian writer Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, who opened his 1830 novel "Paul Clifford"with this remarkable line : "it definitely was a dark and stormy night.". I thought his entry would have made a good starting to a great comic novel. We inspire a collegial, non-insulting tone.